A Holiday in Orlando (Parts 6 to 9)

vi. Walk Don’t Run: Sea World & the Water Parks

If I recall correctly, the last time I went bare chested was during the summer of 2005, when the reflective paleness of my skin was the cause of a small beach fire and the impaired vision of three unsuspecting bystanders. Since then, to avoid similar accidents from happening, I’ve done the good thing and accepted that I should never remove my shirt, least of all in public.

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A Holiday in Orlando (Parts 4 to 5)

iv. Biscuits for Breakfast: Animal Kingdom

There’s a saying: if something is found to be delicious, Americans have tried eating it for breakfast. Supposedly consuming any food first thing in the morning is fair game in the good old US of A, even cookies, which are considered a completely acceptable way to start the day–although only when covered in whole milk. They might have been rebranded “Cookie Crisp” and marketed as cereal, as not to arouse the suspicion of health conscious consumers, but the resemblance is surely unmistakable. Then there are Lucky Charms, of course, which were around in UK for a while (we can only hope they never found their way to Ireland), before somebody must have noticed that they were feeding their children marshmallows and e-numbers for breakfast, and then they disappeared faster than they had arrived.

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