1. It gets you women
Since mom ran off with Tom, dads let himself go. But now, thanks to Just For Men, he’s back in the game! Just waint until they find out their dad’s actually gay and that’s why mom ran off with Tom. “It’s for my daughters – they don’t know yet.”
2. It gets you parts in bizarre schizophrenia themed porn
Your hair also says cake icing. Is this a job interview or a bloody porn video!? I can see why he’d mention experience, but energy? And why is that woman looking at him/them like that?
3. It, uh, makes your kids winners or something
I didn’t get the job, my wife makes me sleep on the sofa, and my son’s concerned about my hair, for some weird reason. You know, maybe it is time. To kill myself.
4. It makes you a better lover
No, babe, you’re right on target… for an orgasm! Ow yeah… Please don’t tell my wife and family.
5. It allows you to put your kids through college
I just want to thank my dad. Without him I probably wouldn’t be standing here today. You see, he dyed his hair so he could get a job sieving sewage with his bare hands. Without his support I probably wouldn’t have been able to take applied hair and beauty here at… Gudger college. So thanks, dad. And congratulations on divorcing mom and getting tied to Nadia – you make a great couple.